Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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