Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
