return my video game
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
