he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
NoShamevember. You game?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
