Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
