Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
