Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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