He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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