I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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