she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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