Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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