i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
