I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
