i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
