turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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