Your face is a jimmy john
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
