'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
