he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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