Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
