You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
