are you still at the devil's house?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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