New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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