A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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