Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
