We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
