Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
