I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
