maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
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I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
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I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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