theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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