Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize