Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
