I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My vagina is very pro this idea
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
