I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Tornado booty call.. dedication
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
