everyone is single if you try hard enough
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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