I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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