Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
