lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
