That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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