I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
