I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
