barbara walters just said penis...
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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