This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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