You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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