Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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