it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
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