I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Betty ford says i'm here all night
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I touched a dick in church today
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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