My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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