We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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