what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Randomize
