Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
