I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
