But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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