She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
