i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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