y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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