I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
