I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
